Gotta Keep Singing....

Mema is on the left, holding the song-book.

Pretty much anyone that knew my Mema, or has spent any time with our family, probably knows how much she loved to sing.  According to family stories, she came by this trait honestly.  Grandma Versie taught all her kids to sing, and sing harmony.  Mema then taught all her kids.  The Aerys (and their derivatives) are a very musically talented family.  We have singers, songwriters, musicians of all types.  Of course, we also have the token "can only play the radio" types, but we love them anyway.

Front Row:  Mema, Gene, Wanna

Mema sang in churches and on local radio and television programs.  She was in a singing group with her pastor, Gene Winfrey and his wife Wanna.  Don't ask me who these other people are, because this photo WAY pre-dates me:

Papa was traveling around to different churches ministering, Mema was teaching Sunday School and singing in various places.  But, this was the 1950-60's.  When people in their church circles found out that Mema had been divorced, they were no longer allowed to minister in certain capacities.

But, the gifts and callings of God are without repentance.  And God knew about their past before He called them into the ministry.  So, Mema and Papa left the baptist church and joined the independent Free Full Gospel Fellowship.  It was this experience that drove Papa's decision that Glenwood Full Gospel Church would be non-denominational.  That we would accept anyone and give them an opportunity to work for the Lord. 

As they struck out on their own, first meeting in homes and then later acquiring a little store-front building at 5300 Charles Page Boulevard, the musicians Mema worked with were home-grown.   She started out singing with her brother, Kenneth, and his wife Carolyn.  Later on, she taught my mom and my aunt, Patti to sing harmony, and the Glenwood Trio was born.  More on this to come....

Kenneth, Carolyn and Mema...at the old church building at 

5300 Charles Page Blvd. in Tulsa

Sharon, Patti, Helen--My Mom, Aunt, and Mema--The Glenwood Trio

Baby Sister

Well, Reader, you have already met my Uncle John and my mother, Sharon.  While countless others looked to my Mema as a mother figure, she actually birthed only one more child:  my Aunt Patti.  My mother was four when Patti was born.   Mom and Patti have always been close, but when Patti was born--Mom wanted to run away from home. 

Aparently, when Mema was pregnant with Patti, she was sick all of the time.  She was in labor for twenty-one days, and then Patti was born with bronchitis, and they even thought she might have had diptheria.  I guess when Baby Sister finally got to come home from the hospital, she cried alot.  My mother, four years old, decided to gather up all of the pop bottles she could find.  She packed a bag, loaded the bottles up in her little red wagon, and started pulling it down the street.  Papa was sitting out on the porch, and seeing her, asked her where she was going.  She said she was going to the store.  She was going to sell her bottles and leave town, because the baby cried all the time and made her mommy sick.  Papa just shook his head and said "Can I come too?"  Momma told him he could, so they went to the store, sold the bottles, and spent the money on candy.  Papa told her that babies couldn't eat candy, so Momma decided to come home.  And, that was that. 

Mom and Patti have always been close.  I love the stories I've always heard about Momma locking Patti out of the house so that she couldn't track mud on the floor, and Mom tricking Patti into singing her to sleep at night.  They may pick at each other, but God help the person that tries to pick on one with the other around. 

I think Papa set the tone of their family future that day when he ran away with Momma.  He really listened to her, and gave credance to her feelings.  I think that is so important for children.  As irrational as we may think their feelings and fears are, they are absolutely real to them.  And, trust me, I have known children with more insight than most adults.  Children need to be taught to trust their feelings and given the confidence and opportunity to express themselves.  If they aren't given that chance, they learn that their feelings aren't important.  They stuff things down inside, and it makes them insecure. 

Some people think that children should be seen and not heard.  Hmm...  Then how are they ever supposed to work out their thoughts and learn to communicate them?  No, children should be taught the appropriate time and place to voice themselves. 

When God Answers...

My master's degree diploma arrived in the mail last Friday. 

I decided to go graduate school about the same time that Mema was diagnosed with cancer.  I almost used her illness as an excuse to back out of the whole thing, but she would hear nothing of it.  She wanted me to follow my dreams, and always encouraged me to get all the education I could.  I have to admit, I feel a little guilt over the amount of time I had to spend on school that took away from the time I could have spent with her.  She would get me if she ever heard me admit that, though.  You won't tell, will you?

The only picture I have of Mema at my graduation.  

About a week before my graduation, Mema started feeling bad again.  There was some discussion about whether or not she would even be able to attend.  This upset me, because having her watch me walk across that stage to have that hood draped over my head was one of the only reasons I even decided to go through the ceremony.  I didn't say anything, though, as she and my mother discussed the logistics of getting her there.  I left the room, and when I came back, she called me to the chair where she was sitting.  She told me that when she got sick, she asked the Lord to let her live long enough to see me graduate, and there was no way that she was going to miss it.  So, that was settled.  Arrangements were made to get her there in her wheelchair, and when they hooded me, I was looking right at her.  She had to leave before I could get back to see her, but she was there. 

It was a major ordeal for her to go to my graduation because she was so sick.  As a matter of fact, 18 days later, she had her own "graduation."  But, the Lord had granted her request and she felt she had to do her part to get that answer to prayer.  That is how it is sometimes.  We ask the Lord for something, but there is something we have to do on our side to receive the answer.  If she had stayed home, would that mean that God had let her down?  Nope.

I've been thinking about this in relation to my life right now.  Last spring, I asked the Lord to grant us favor in regard to the school where I work.  I wanted the faculty and students to be able to stay together, whether in our building or in a different one.  He gave us another place to call home.  But, boy, it has been a lot of work to get the place ready.  Everyone that works there, and many of the parents and community members have gone above and beyond the call of duty to make sure our students had a great place to come to school.  We had to do our part.

God isn't like a fairy godmother.  He doesn't wave a magic wand and make things appear for us.  Now, I'm not saying he couldn't, I'm just saying he doesn't work that way.  He moves through people.  He empowers us to be the best we can be.  He helps us to do great things.  So, when you pray for something, and God answers, be sure and listen to what he says!  Be willing to do your part, even when it's hard. 

My Favorite Volunteer

Emily watching as Mema helps with a project in our kindergarten class.  

 

 

 

Tomorrow is the first day of school at Chouteau Elementary.  In the depths of the building, in a room off of the fourth grade classroom, sits Mema's sewing machine.  We gave it to one of Mema's favorite teachers who sews with her kids every year.  Mrs. McBurney's kids make quilts and pillows.  When Emily was in her class, Mema volunteered to help with some of the projects.  But she was always my volunteer first.

Before I became the school's librarian, I taught Pre-K and Kindergarten.  When Sarah was old enough to start school, she was in my half-day Pre-K class.  Every day at lunch time, Mema would bring Emily up to the school and we would all eat lunch in the cafeteria together.  This continued the next year when Sarah and I graduated to full-day Kindergarten and Emily started Pre-K.  Mema would come to pick Emily up and we ate with my whole Kindergarten class.

Finally, both girls were in school all day.  Mema was free to come to the school to help out with projects.  Sometimes she would just come up and bring me lunch.  My favorite part of the day, though, was about fifteen minutes before school was out.  While I was reading to my class and wrapping up the day, Mema would show up in the back of my classroom and start wiping down the tables with Clorox wipes and putting the chairs up on the tables.  If we had been really messy, she would even sweep up around the classroom.  It didn't matter that we had a custodian, she just wanted to make sure the tables were clean and the kids stayed healthy.  She did this for almost three years--without fail--until she got sick. 

After that, I cleaned my own tables and put up  my own chairs.  I'm a big girl, I could do it.  The thing that made me sad was that the kids missed out on her loving presence.  My kindergartners loved her, and many of them called her "Mema".  She got to know many of them, and I know she made a difference in their lives.

So, we start school tomorrow in our new building.  She isn't here to volunteer anymore, but her sewing machine will continue her service to the Chouteau community.  Sew on Mrs. McBurney!!!

Missing My Prayer Partner...

Today was my first day back to work after a very hectic summer break.  We have moved our school into a new building, and I'm not sure anyone really got the rest they should have over the summer.  Nevertheless, I was very happy to be with my Chouteau family.  The first thing many of our staff members did this morning was meet for a voluntary prayer meeting.  We met as a group and then went throughout the new building praying for our students and asking the Lord's blessing over our new school and our new year.  But this wasn't the first time I prayed over a school....

I think Mema was really proud of my decision to become a teacher.  Had she been born into my situation, she probably would have been a teacher herself.  She told me that Grandma Versie once taught in a one-room schoolhouse, so maybe the teacher-gene just runs in the family.  When I got a job at Chouteau, it was a double blessing because it is situated in the area of Tulsa many call the "Sand Springs Line", and this is where Mema grew up, raised her own family, and pastored a church.  When Sarah and Emily started school at Chouteau, Mema really became more involved.  I have many stories about things she did and people she touched as she volunteered at that little school.  There were many times when I would be having a rough time with my class that she and I would stand in my classroom praying for peace, wisdom, strength, and yes, even sometimes patience. 

When talk came of closing Chouteau, Mema was one of our main prayer warriors.  And when news came that we would only close the building, and move the program to the Madison Middle School campus, she was so pleased.  At the hospital, when she was really getting bad, I told her I was going home for the night, and would be back the next day.  She told me I needed to go home and get some rest so I could take care of HER school.  As I walked the hallways praying over each classroom, I couldn't help but feel her with me.  I know she would not only be proud of the hard work and determination, but of the faith and unity of the faculty today. 

Thank you, all of my Chouteau friends, for always making my Mema feel like she was an important part of our team.  And thank you even more for being there for me throughout her illness, and through our loss of her.  You make me smile knowing that I get to work with you again as we set off on this new chapter in our lives.  :)

And then came Sharon....

Helen, Floyd, and Baby Sharon

Now it is time to tell off on my own mother a bit.  When she was little, my mom liked to eat dirt.  When Mema took her to the doctor, she told him about little Sharon's affinity for mud pies, and the doctor told Mema she was keeping her daughter too clean.  Can you imagine a doctor telling you that you keep your kid too clean?  Apparently there was mineral or something in the dirt that mom's body was craving, and so she ate the dirt.  The doctor's prescription:  Let her play in the dirt.  It won't hurt her, and she'll be stronger for it in the long run.  

So what lesson could I have possibly learned from this embarrassing little tale?  Don't worry, I have one.  I guess you can imagine that after Johnny was taken from her, Mema was pretty protective of my mother.  She probably already was a "hoverer" before, but loose one child, it will make you very sensitive to anything that may harm your second one.  But always protecting a child from anything "bad" isn't really protecting them at all.  It doesn't teach them to cope in the real world.  Just like keeping all the dirt and germs away from my mother wasn't letting her body build up antibodies to fight infection.  Because she was kept so clean, she was missing some key elements.  

Floyd, Helen, and Sharon

Don't get me wrong, Mema stayed protective.  She just learned to give her children (and grandchildren) room to grow.  She gave us boundaries and let us learn to make our own choices, and yes even mistakes, within those boundaries.  I think this made us stronger.  And it is how I know that we can go on without her now that she's gone.  She empowered us with all of the life lessons we need, and she gave us practice in using them.  That is what a good mother does! 

It was this philosophy that I adopted when it was time to enroll my own daughter in school.  Part of me wanted to find a nice, safe, private Christian school for her.  The other part of me knew that she needed to go to public school.  She needed to learn to function in a diverse world and still be able to make the right choices--what the Bible calls being "in the world, and not of the world."  Now, I will give you that I enrolled her in the school where I was working.  I was even her kindergarten teacher, but that was just one of the boundaries that I set for her.  The older she got, I backed off from watching over her day-to-day life at school.  And now, she is ready to head off to middle school.  I'm pretty sure I'm prepared--I know she is!

As parents, we have to find a balance between protecting our children from pitfalls of life and teaching them to make their own mistakes.  Some people go the other extreme from what Mema tried to do with Mom.  They give their children too much freedom and not enough boundaries.  They think they are doing their children a favor, making them happy by giving them everything they want.  It turns out these kids aren't happy at all, and they often find themselves in messes with no skills to get out.  Similarly, children that are over-protected never learn how to deal with difficulties of life.  When the inevitable freedom comes, they go wild and wind up in big messes just like their overindulged counterparts.  Man, this parenthood stuff is hard!  Handle with PRAYER!!!

Helen and Sharon--My Mema and my Mommy!!

God Uses the Simple Things....

This is truly one of my favorite pictures of my grandparents.  I love looking at them when they were so young and in love.  But I think the main reason that I like this particular picture is that it shows a side of them and a time in their lives that is so very different from the people I have known all of my life.  First of all, look at Mema with her head all wrapped up, hair parted down the middle and back off of her face.  NEVER would you see her like that!  Then, look in Papa's hand.  Is that a *ahem* beer bottle?  And his shirt is un-tucked.  He looks almost "cool."  They look so different here, and the picture absolutely  captivates me.  They are so relaxed, carefree, comfortable with each other and with having their picture made in this way. 

Even though I doubted that this was one of Mema's favorite pictures, I used it in the slideshow at her funeral.  I did crop it so that the beer bottle wasn't in the picture, though.  But this blog is about honestly sharing the truths that I have learned from growing up so close to her.  So..you get the "uncensored" version.  Hey, I am a librarian, I am supposed to stand against censorship!

The truth is that neither one of my grandparents came from influential families.  They didn't have much money. They didn't have even a high school education.  Yet, they have become spiritual leaders and mentors to countless people.  They walked in the Power of the Lord, and shared the gospel message everywhere they went.  How did this couple with the funny hair and the beer bottle become pastors and prayer warriors?  Simple--It was God's plan.  Read this little excerpt from 1 Corinthians:

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called.  Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."  

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (NIV)

 Ok, I know that is WAY more Bible text than I usually include in my blog.  Hope I haven't lost you.  What does it mean?  God doesn't choose the best of the best when he calls people to do His work.  It isn't that He CAN'T use someone from an influential family, or with a lot of education, or with a lot of money.  It's just that when He takes someone from nothingness and makes them into something great, you absolutely know that it was HIM that did it.  (See, Papa, I listened while you preached!)

Mema barely finished the tenth or eleventh grade.  I think she had Johnny when she was 17, and was divorced shortly after.  She worked from the time she was very young, and didn't really have a "childhood."  Her preacher daddy ran off, and she was left to help her mom pick up the pieces.  But, she had a praying momma!

Papa had even less education than Mema did.  His family even lived in a tent for part of his childhood.  But later on, when the Lord called him to preach, he taught himself to read better by listening to the Bible on a record (you know, those CD things made out of vinyl) and following along.  And, let me add, when I had trouble learning long division--it was Papa who helped me.  He became a student of the Word of God.

Together, they founded and pastored Glenwood Full Gospel Church for over 50 years.  The church has never been big, but it has always gotten by.  The Lord has always provided enough cash flow to pay the bills and keep the doors open.  I guess the church is another example of the scriptures I quoted above, because there have been many times when the world would look at our little congregation and think "Why do they even bother?"  But, God bothers.  He bothered with my grandparents.  And there are many people in California, Oklahoma, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Florida, and places I'm not even aware of who can say that they are very glad He did.