God Uses the Simple Things....

This is truly one of my favorite pictures of my grandparents.  I love looking at them when they were so young and in love.  But I think the main reason that I like this particular picture is that it shows a side of them and a time in their lives that is so very different from the people I have known all of my life.  First of all, look at Mema with her head all wrapped up, hair parted down the middle and back off of her face.  NEVER would you see her like that!  Then, look in Papa's hand.  Is that a *ahem* beer bottle?  And his shirt is un-tucked.  He looks almost "cool."  They look so different here, and the picture absolutely  captivates me.  They are so relaxed, carefree, comfortable with each other and with having their picture made in this way. 

Even though I doubted that this was one of Mema's favorite pictures, I used it in the slideshow at her funeral.  I did crop it so that the beer bottle wasn't in the picture, though.  But this blog is about honestly sharing the truths that I have learned from growing up so close to her.  So..you get the "uncensored" version.  Hey, I am a librarian, I am supposed to stand against censorship!

The truth is that neither one of my grandparents came from influential families.  They didn't have much money. They didn't have even a high school education.  Yet, they have become spiritual leaders and mentors to countless people.  They walked in the Power of the Lord, and shared the gospel message everywhere they went.  How did this couple with the funny hair and the beer bottle become pastors and prayer warriors?  Simple--It was God's plan.  Read this little excerpt from 1 Corinthians:

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called.  Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."  

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (NIV)

 Ok, I know that is WAY more Bible text than I usually include in my blog.  Hope I haven't lost you.  What does it mean?  God doesn't choose the best of the best when he calls people to do His work.  It isn't that He CAN'T use someone from an influential family, or with a lot of education, or with a lot of money.  It's just that when He takes someone from nothingness and makes them into something great, you absolutely know that it was HIM that did it.  (See, Papa, I listened while you preached!)

Mema barely finished the tenth or eleventh grade.  I think she had Johnny when she was 17, and was divorced shortly after.  She worked from the time she was very young, and didn't really have a "childhood."  Her preacher daddy ran off, and she was left to help her mom pick up the pieces.  But, she had a praying momma!

Papa had even less education than Mema did.  His family even lived in a tent for part of his childhood.  But later on, when the Lord called him to preach, he taught himself to read better by listening to the Bible on a record (you know, those CD things made out of vinyl) and following along.  And, let me add, when I had trouble learning long division--it was Papa who helped me.  He became a student of the Word of God.

Together, they founded and pastored Glenwood Full Gospel Church for over 50 years.  The church has never been big, but it has always gotten by.  The Lord has always provided enough cash flow to pay the bills and keep the doors open.  I guess the church is another example of the scriptures I quoted above, because there have been many times when the world would look at our little congregation and think "Why do they even bother?"  But, God bothers.  He bothered with my grandparents.  And there are many people in California, Oklahoma, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Florida, and places I'm not even aware of who can say that they are very glad He did. 

Waiting on the Lord...

Helen holding Johnny

Helen and Floyd knew each other six years before they married.  In the meantime, Floyd joined the army.  He was stationed in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii after the Japanese bombing.  Helen was back at home getting ready to fight a war of her own.

Helen met, and later married a man named Charles.  They had a son she named Johnny Wayne.  When later asked why she chose the name, she simply stated that John Wayne was her favorite movie star.  Duh!  Obviously!!  Anyway, Charles and Helen's marriage was not ideal.  Apparently Johnny was the only thing good that came of it, and they were soon divorced.

Meanwhile, Floyd was back from the service, and he and Helen were reunited.  They married and before long, my mother was born.  There was a short period of time when Mom and John were actually raised together, although they were both too young to remember this time of their lives. 

Sharon and Johnny

Floyd loved little Johnny, and he was very protective of his family--Helen, Johnny, Sharon (my mother), and his mother-in-law Versie.  Helen and Charles were in the midst of a bitter custody battle over Johnny, and Charles won.

According to a story told to me, Johnny was playing in Helen's front yard one day and was taken away from her.  She wasn't allowed to see him anymore.  One day, she was standing at Versie's kitchen sink and she heard fire trucks go by the house.  She knew it was something to do with young Johnny--and she was right.  Floyd and Grandpa Railey (Versie's husband) jumped in the car and followed the firetruck.  They found the scene of a wreck between a car and a train.  Little Johnny was the only survivor.  He was thrown from the car and landed in a water-filled ditch nearby.  Helen went to the hospital to see about Johnny, but Charles had re-married and she was told that her presence was confusing to the boy, and was asked not to return.  So, Helen had to make what would be the most difficult decision of her life.  Fight for the son she loved and risk loosing everything, or let him go and make the best life she could with her new husband and baby girl.  She backed away. 

In the car on that fateful day was one of Johnny's relatives by the name of Helen.  He knew that was his mother's name, and he was led to believe that it was she who died in the wreck with the train.  Throughout his life, he believed that his mother was dead.  In reality, he grew up just down the street from his mother.  My mother and Johnny even went to middle school together.  Mom says that one time, she got in trouble at school for telling everyone that he was her brother.  She was confused because she didn't even know the story--it was a cousin that had told the tale.

When Johnny was in his thirties, Helen's sister-in-law, Bonnie, helped to make sure that Johnny knew the truth.  By that time, he was grown, had served in the military, married, and had children of his own.  He says that he remembers meeting her for the first time as an adult.  He hugged her and just sat there resting his head on her breast, weeping.  He felt like he had come home--that a hole in his heart had been filled.  He was very conflicted and torn for a long time.  I guess when you are led to believe a lie for your whole life, you really have to make peace with the truth for yourself.  It wasn't that he'd had a bad life with his dad and step-mom.  It just was missing something... his mother.  He wanted to honor them all, and Helen gave him the space and freedom to work this out in his own heart.

R to L:  Sharon, Helen, Patti, Johnny-- Back: Floyd

I am so proud to say that this picture was taken on Mother's Day, 2011.  It is Mema with her family reunited:  her husband, Floyd, her daughters, Patti and Sharon, and her son, Johnny Wayne.

During Mema's illness, Johnny decided to fully embrace his mother.  He visited her, sat at the hospital with us, and became a part of the family that feels like was always there.  And now that she is gone, he has been such a comfort to us all.  He has filled a void for my daughter, Emily, for sure!  And, in honor of his mother's memory, he has chosen to help in the ministry at the church she and Papa founded over half a century ago.

What a story of reconciliation!  Mema waited for this picture for a LONG time.  (In honor of my Uncle, I won't say how many years, hee-hee.)  There was nothing that Helen could have done to change this situation.  She had to let go and let GOD work it out.  And He did!  God heard her prayers all those years, and said "Wait!  I'll let it happen when you really need it!"  It just lets me know that it is true that God has won the war before we have even fought a battle.

"Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV) 

 

Romance at the Crown Drug Store

 Crown Drug Store-- 4th and Main--Downtown Tulsa--Photo Credit: Beryl Ford Collection/Rotary Club of Tulsa, Tulsa City-County Library and Tulsa Historical Society. “Preservation and archiving of this significant Tulsa treasure of photographs and artifacts was made possible through the Tulsa City-County Library and the Tulsa Historical Society, and the generosity of Tulsa World/Lorton Family, Chester Cadieux, the Rotary Club of Tulsa, and many other community-minded corporations, institutions, and individuals.”

Being one of the oldest siblings, young Helen felt a responsibility to help provide for her family.  When she was thirteen years old, she got a job as a soda jerk at the Crown Drug Store at 4th and Main in Downtown Tulsa.  This is where fourteen-year-old Floyd Lang enters our story.  Floyd came into the Crown as a customer, and Helen stole his heart.

Just tonight, I asked Papa to confirm these details, and he got a twinkle in his eye.  I can't imagine what loosing Mema has felt like for him.  They knew each other for sixty-nine years! They raised two daughters, pastored a church, spoiled grandchildren, looked after nieces and nephews, caught fish, played dominoes, cooked amazing food, ran a successful restaurant ...lived a very full life...together...for almost seven decades!

When I was little, I always thought that my Papa could fix anything.  He worked as a carpenter and had a woodshop in his basement.  He would let me go down to the shop with him and I would hammer nails.  I remember hunting around in all of his wood shavings to find discarded nails so that I wouldn't have to waste his good ones.  He would have given me new nails, but I think I really just liked to dig in the sawdust.  It smelled so good in that shop!  I loved to watch him take pieces of lumber and make them into something useful and beautiful.

Before Mema got sick, Papa wasn't doing well.  He had problems with his hip.  He had shortness of breath.  He spent a lot of time lying around the house.  It almost seemed like he had lost his purpose.  He had been a preacher for over fifty years, and when he could no longer speak without going into a coughing fit, I guess it makes sense that he got a little down.  The day we got the diagnosis, Papa cried.  And then he got strong again.

He couldn't fix this, but he took care of her throughout her illness: three surgeries, countless chemo treatments, radiation, and all of the side-effects that go with it!  He cooked for her and made sure she ate.  He cleaned up after her when making sure she ate backfired on him.  He drove himself to the hospital and walked all over St. John's just to visit her. 

Then, one afternoon, just a few months ago, my family and I were in Oklahoma City for the day when my mom called to say that Papa wasn't feeling well.  He was numb on his right side.  I told Mom to get him to the hospital--NOW--even if you have to throw him in the trunk to do it!   Sure enough, he'd had a stroke.  The doctors decided that he needed to have his carotid artery cleaned out, so, the caretaker became the patient.  Mema rallied and helped take care of Papa, and he ended up making a full recovery in record time.  It was a good thing, because Mema was getting ready to take a turn for the worse.

If Papa could fix anything, Mema made everything right.  And things just don't seem quite right anymore.  It amazes me how they complemented each other.  Where he was tough and rough, she was soft and gentle.  And for them to have their ups and downs at opposite times throughout the past couple years has really been a blessing. I guess they completed each other. Now she's gone, and life goes on--a fact that still amazes me!  The doctors have decided that Papa needs to have his other carotid artery cleaned out in a couple weeks.  We'll try to take care of him as good as Mema could.  Please remember him (and us) in your prayers.

Floyd and Helen Lang--Christmas 2010