Bah, Humbug!

Everywhere I look, it is getting harder to fool myself: Christmas is coming, Christmas is coming!  But my heart wonders if it will really feel like Christmas this year.

Think of all of the characters that hate Christmas (i.e. The Grinch, Ebeneezer Scrooge).  All of those characters rolled up in one big ball would just begin to describe the EXACT OPPOSITE of my Mema.  So many of my Christmas memories revolve around her.  She always made it special.

When I was a child, Mema worked as the activities director at Oakdale Manor Nursing Home.  I remember going up to the nursing home to help Mema decorate.  As long as she worked there, the residents enjoyed elaborately decorated trees in the dining rooms and lobby areas, each with its own theme.  She also made sure there were lights and Christmas scenes outside.  There was also a Christmas party for the residents, complete with a live performance from the Glenwood Trio.  Oh, and me too.  I would sing for the residents, and it was a highlight of the season for me. 


Mema's own home was always decorated to the hilt.  Complete with tree, fireplace decorations, special placemats, and outdoor lights.  We all gathered at her house for a Christmas Eve celebration.  Everyone tried to be there on Christmas Eve, even if we had to spend Christmas Day somewhere else.  For the past several years, we all would bring a "Mens" or "Ladies" gift, and Mema made us play the "Right Family Game."  Basically, she would read us this story and every time she said "right" we passed the gifts to the right, "left" to the left.  We all rolled our eyes all the way through it, but it was fun.

Oh, and let's not for get about the Church!  She loved to have the church decorated and to have some kind of special Christmas service.  As us kiddos got older, she always gave us an opportunity to think of something creative to do.  Someone would write a play, or a skit, and we'd all make fools of ourselves.


 

And the Carols!  Oh, the Carols! She loved to go caroling.  Whether in the neighborhood or to a retirement center, she loved to go sing the Carols!

And now, she's gone.  I'm happy for her.  She's in the best place to celebrate Jesus' birthday.  But I am having waves of bittersweet emotions.  Last Saturday, Mom, Emily and I went and decorated Mema's tree.  Ok, it's Papa's tree too, but will forever in my mind be hers.  I could hear her voice telling me to turn the light on in the dark living room so I could see.  I cried the whole time.  

Christmas 2010

As hard as it's going to be to celebrate this season with out her, I'll do my best.  I'll put away my "bah, humbug" attitude.  It's what she would want.  This weekend at church is our special Christmas service. We'll sing the carols.  The kids will act out the Christmas story. Emily is playing her flute.  We'll make new memories, but keep the old....one is silver and the other's gold.   Merry Christmas, Mema!!

Blessed are those who mourn....

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  Matthew 5:4 NIV

I have to admit, I've read this verse over and over as part of the Beatitudes, and never really gave it much thought.  Yeah, yeah, the poor are blessed, the meek are blessed, the hungry and thirsty are blessed.  But it sure is kind of hard to see the blessing when you are in the middle of being hungry or mourning the loss of  a loved one.  Where is the blessing in loosing someone who was one of the single most important people in your world?

Mema's been gone almost six months.  Sometimes I miss her so much it hurts.  I see a woman walking through Walmart, and for half a second out of the corner of my eye....  No, not her.  Something wonderful or tragic happens and I pick up the phone to call...  Oh, yeah.  Nevermind.  Where's the blessing?

Then I think about that day in the hospital when we knew it was the end.  I called my friend, Marsha and she hopped out of bed early that Saturday morning and sped to the hospital with a bag of diet sodas and a box of Puffs.  (Really, she sped.  The police officer took pitty on her when he saw her genuine tears.)  Then, there's my friend Molly who showed up early that afternoon with a tray of fruit, some chocolate, another box of tissues, and those little whispy toothbrush things.  There's my friends Jennifer and Kellie who took such good care of my daughter while emotions were running high and I just needed to be "Granddaugher" and save "Mommy" for another day.  The hospital staff.  Our family members.  Our pastors and church family.  They all gathered as we awaited her homegoing.  And I was comforted.  I was blessed. 

In the days and weeks that followed, I kept thinking back on that time in the ICU waiting room, and on all of the cards, flowers, donations to Susan G. Komen, and hugs that followed.  Mema was loved and honored, and I was blessed. 

Friday, in the park down the street from our church, a tragedy happened.  A 9 year-old girl was digging a tunnel in the sand.  It caved in on her and she was found, dead.  My heart is heavy for the family of that little girl.  They didn't have any warning.  They didn't get to say goodbye.  They let their precious child go to the park to play and she never came home.  Right now they are mourning.  I sure hope they will someday look back and feel blessed.  I'm not sure how, but the Bible says they will be.  Blessed doesn't mean you get what you want.  It means you get what you need.  Sometimes we look at being blessed as having more than enough.  But in times like these, we must look to God as our portion--for today.  And tomorrow, we have to look to Him as our portion again--for that day.  Day by day, we get what we need, and we are blessed. 

My mother reminded me today of when Mema used to sit on the bench at school and wait for the girls.  Her group of special children grew and grew.  She would sit there and wait on them to get out of school so she could hug them and ask them about their day.  Momma thinks Mema was up in heaven, sitting on the bench, waiting on Hannah.  And she's hugging her, asking her about her day, and showing her all over heaven.  I like the thought of that.  The Bible says that in Heaven, we will be known as we are known here on earth.  I think the children in Heaven will know that my Mema will be their Mema too. 

Gotta Keep Singing....

Mema is on the left, holding the song-book.

Pretty much anyone that knew my Mema, or has spent any time with our family, probably knows how much she loved to sing.  According to family stories, she came by this trait honestly.  Grandma Versie taught all her kids to sing, and sing harmony.  Mema then taught all her kids.  The Aerys (and their derivatives) are a very musically talented family.  We have singers, songwriters, musicians of all types.  Of course, we also have the token "can only play the radio" types, but we love them anyway.

Front Row:  Mema, Gene, Wanna

Mema sang in churches and on local radio and television programs.  She was in a singing group with her pastor, Gene Winfrey and his wife Wanna.  Don't ask me who these other people are, because this photo WAY pre-dates me:

Papa was traveling around to different churches ministering, Mema was teaching Sunday School and singing in various places.  But, this was the 1950-60's.  When people in their church circles found out that Mema had been divorced, they were no longer allowed to minister in certain capacities.

But, the gifts and callings of God are without repentance.  And God knew about their past before He called them into the ministry.  So, Mema and Papa left the baptist church and joined the independent Free Full Gospel Fellowship.  It was this experience that drove Papa's decision that Glenwood Full Gospel Church would be non-denominational.  That we would accept anyone and give them an opportunity to work for the Lord. 

As they struck out on their own, first meeting in homes and then later acquiring a little store-front building at 5300 Charles Page Boulevard, the musicians Mema worked with were home-grown.   She started out singing with her brother, Kenneth, and his wife Carolyn.  Later on, she taught my mom and my aunt, Patti to sing harmony, and the Glenwood Trio was born.  More on this to come....

Kenneth, Carolyn and Mema...at the old church building at 

5300 Charles Page Blvd. in Tulsa

Sharon, Patti, Helen--My Mom, Aunt, and Mema--The Glenwood Trio

God Uses the Simple Things....

This is truly one of my favorite pictures of my grandparents.  I love looking at them when they were so young and in love.  But I think the main reason that I like this particular picture is that it shows a side of them and a time in their lives that is so very different from the people I have known all of my life.  First of all, look at Mema with her head all wrapped up, hair parted down the middle and back off of her face.  NEVER would you see her like that!  Then, look in Papa's hand.  Is that a *ahem* beer bottle?  And his shirt is un-tucked.  He looks almost "cool."  They look so different here, and the picture absolutely  captivates me.  They are so relaxed, carefree, comfortable with each other and with having their picture made in this way. 

Even though I doubted that this was one of Mema's favorite pictures, I used it in the slideshow at her funeral.  I did crop it so that the beer bottle wasn't in the picture, though.  But this blog is about honestly sharing the truths that I have learned from growing up so close to her.  So..you get the "uncensored" version.  Hey, I am a librarian, I am supposed to stand against censorship!

The truth is that neither one of my grandparents came from influential families.  They didn't have much money. They didn't have even a high school education.  Yet, they have become spiritual leaders and mentors to countless people.  They walked in the Power of the Lord, and shared the gospel message everywhere they went.  How did this couple with the funny hair and the beer bottle become pastors and prayer warriors?  Simple--It was God's plan.  Read this little excerpt from 1 Corinthians:

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called.  Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."  

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (NIV)

 Ok, I know that is WAY more Bible text than I usually include in my blog.  Hope I haven't lost you.  What does it mean?  God doesn't choose the best of the best when he calls people to do His work.  It isn't that He CAN'T use someone from an influential family, or with a lot of education, or with a lot of money.  It's just that when He takes someone from nothingness and makes them into something great, you absolutely know that it was HIM that did it.  (See, Papa, I listened while you preached!)

Mema barely finished the tenth or eleventh grade.  I think she had Johnny when she was 17, and was divorced shortly after.  She worked from the time she was very young, and didn't really have a "childhood."  Her preacher daddy ran off, and she was left to help her mom pick up the pieces.  But, she had a praying momma!

Papa had even less education than Mema did.  His family even lived in a tent for part of his childhood.  But later on, when the Lord called him to preach, he taught himself to read better by listening to the Bible on a record (you know, those CD things made out of vinyl) and following along.  And, let me add, when I had trouble learning long division--it was Papa who helped me.  He became a student of the Word of God.

Together, they founded and pastored Glenwood Full Gospel Church for over 50 years.  The church has never been big, but it has always gotten by.  The Lord has always provided enough cash flow to pay the bills and keep the doors open.  I guess the church is another example of the scriptures I quoted above, because there have been many times when the world would look at our little congregation and think "Why do they even bother?"  But, God bothers.  He bothered with my grandparents.  And there are many people in California, Oklahoma, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Florida, and places I'm not even aware of who can say that they are very glad He did. 

Whither Thou Goest...

One of my favorite stories in the bible is that of Ruth.  She showed such faithfulness to her mother-in-law, Naomi, that she left her home and traveled with her to a foreign land just to take care of her.  Or at least that is what Ruth thought she was doing.  In all actuality, God was directing Ruth to go with Naomi so that He could take care of them both.  And, in the process, Ruth became part of a much bigger plan.  She promised Naomi, "Whither thou goest, I will go.  Your people will be my people.  Your God will be my God."  Wow!

Ok, so that is how I always felt about Mema.  Wherever she was, that was home for me.  It didn't matter if we were sitting at her house playing Skip-Bo, traveling around Arkansas singing at different churches, at our home church ministering to the faithful few, or those special nights at St. John's hospital having our "slumber parties".  Wherever she was, that is where I wanted to be.

When I was little, I loved to spend the night with Mema.  Momma would come to pick me up the next day and we would barely get 5 miles from her house and I would cry to go back.  I guess I was rotten, because more often than not, Mom would turn around and take me back.  There was always peace when I was with Mema.  As I got older, I learned that there was usually some crisis going on with someone, but Mema never let it show to me.  It was safe with her.  It was home. 

She used to live within walking distance to the little storefront church that she and my Papa pastored.  I remember getting up on Sunday morning and walking to church with her.  We had to get there early to make coffee.  She played the organ during service, and my place was right next to her on the organ bench.  There were two rows of keys, and I got to play the bottom ones.  Fortunately for the congregation, the bottom row didn't work, but I played them with all I had.  It was there that I learned to sense the presence of the Lord.  I became comfortable with the moving of His Spirit, and later could respond to whatever He wanted me to do.  I loved to be right next to Mema when the Lord would move through her....

Back in those days, Mema would hold prayer meetings at the church on a regular basis.  I don't remember these being huge prayer circles, but just a few ladies who would meet and interceed for their families and the congregation.  One of the most faithful to meet was Juanita.  She would often bring her grandson, Joel with her.  Joel and I were the same age, and I loved it when he came.  We would lay underneath the altar and play quietly while our grandmothers talked to God.  We never seemed to bother them, although their prayer meetings were seldom quiet and serene.  Sometimes it was just me under that altar.  I would lay there and listen to the ladies pray.  Here I learned I could be bold and ask God for anything.  My child-like faith would be such that if we were praying for rain, I would walk around outside with my umbrella waiting for the answer.  I wish I could get back to that child-like faith.  It was so easy then.  We saw so many of those prayers answered.  I know God still answers our prayers, but as an adult I think it becomes too easy to focus on the times He says "No" or "Wait" and take the "Yes" answers for granted. 

So, that is the story behind the title of the blog.  Mema may not have left behind expensive jewelery or a big bank account, but the inheritance is priceless!  She laid up her treasures in heaven, but she left plenty behind on earth as well.  She invested in people by giving so generously of her time and her heart. May we all provide the interest!!